Welcome to Mommy-hood
A few jumbled thoughts from a new mommy…the initiation of mommy-hood and adding ten tiny toes to our family.
I could stand over our little girls bed and watch her sleep for hours…maybe minutes…but then I am quickly reminded- this is my time to shower, grab breakfast or lunch or whatever time of day it is that you’re supposed to eat…and if the timing is good I *might* be able to sweep the floor and wash the dishes. If not well those things can wait until the next sleepy time. In the meantime I am thanking the Lord for technology and being able to text and call my mama and sister…well it’s kind of like my life-lines…when google fails!!!
There is a sense of over-flowing JOY and LOVE and sweet kisses for this little one of ours. Oh what a precious gift we have been given…
The next thought is…really I just changed your diaper…it’s clean…it’s fresh and you just graced me with a dirty one…ok no worries we’ll get you changed…and then I look in her face and can’t resist the cute-ness…only to get her changed and well it’s a good clean diaper…lets test mommy again with a dirty one….oh sweet Elle I love you is my next racing thought. After 4 clean diapers in a row…yes in a row…like I just got her dressed again- in a row!!
In the midst of spit up stained shirts…and stains on your pants…but what mama has time to change and worry about that. It’s just the sign of love, sacrifice and a badge of honor of being a mama!
In reality I really never knew I could love a little 7 .4 lb (well she’s almost 8.4 now!) baby so much. When I got married, I never knew I could love a man so much…it would overwhelm my heart…now I’m overwhelmed times two. No seriously…seeing my Mister become a daddy…love on our little girl…talk to her…hold her…kiss her…tell her he loves her…try to console her and the list goes on…those are the moments I live for now. These are the moments I fall more in love with him…somehow, someway. Or the times he knows the little pet-peeve of mine is bothering me and he just takes it on and takes care of it, knowing if I could I would but I can’t at the moment…my heart melts.
Those are the moments I want to freeze.
Those are the moments I’ll never get back so I don’t want to rush them away.
Somehow sleepless nights or at least for us interrupted sleep each night for feedings…somehow you keep going and you always wondered how…how can I keep going…I’m used to my sleep…but for this little one of mine I’d do anything…as I sit up in bed…reach over in her bassinet to pick her up, snuggle her for a moment…feed her…I look over at my sleeping mister and somehow life is complete. How? These are mysteries to me.
Then the next moment you find yourself oohing-and-ahhing over this little one…singing silly songs…talking baby talk…wishing you knew the 3rd ,4th ,5th if there is such a thing etc verse of Jesus Loves Me as you get her to sleep….those moments. These moments.
I want to freeze them…I don’t want to rush them away.
The racing thoughts through this new mommy’s head…what will her personality be when she grows up? Where will life take her? Praying she has a heart to follow and serve the Lord…then to the next thought…how in the world was this little bundle of joy growing inside of me for 9 months…she was inside of me…this is the one I’ve loved and waited on…she’s here.
My heart could explode with the mommy joy and love! Hearing these little sweet groans and moans that only a newborn makes…can I record those and keep them forever? I could…but I’ll really love to hear her jibber-jabber and then talking…so I’ll just cherish these moans and groans….and snuggle her an extra minute or two!
Before this mommy-brain forgets…oh the life-saver having my mom being able to come by each day and clean, cook, visit, snuggle and chat. Can we seriously FREEZE these moments? They will forever be in my heart, that’s for sure!
I’ll freeze these memories in my mind…
All during the time life still goes on…how does one so little go through so many clothes and laundry? Somehow…yep she does.
What about the morning I almost burned the toast…yes almost burned breakfast…because I hear the little one fussing and I go to calm her back to sleep…Oh speaking of food… did I mention…those yummy foods that I have to avoid now because of nursing? Yep. I love a content happy baby…lets keep it that way! As I look around our little home it’s been over-taken with baby paraphernalia…swings…bouncy seats…burp cloths…blankets…car seat…diaper bag….and the list will grow. I KNOW! Yet I love having the visitors, the friends, the family and the loved ones gracing our home to meet our little one. This is what makes a house a home…a family.
Well I’m off to feed my little one…and stare in this sweet miraculous face that God has graciously gifted us.
All of this can be wrapped up in three incredible words.
Welcome To Mommy-hood
The initiation has been delightful!